


tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that i can’t say

by maybesandsomedays



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Recordings, brief mention of Jemma/Will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 18:22:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5137937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybesandsomedays/pseuds/maybesandsomedays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Jemma Simmons and Leo Fitz, told in recordings made by Jemma over time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that i can’t say

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shafferthefirst](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shafferthefirst/gifts), [jemmasimmuns](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=jemmasimmuns), [jemmasimmmons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jemmasimmmons/gifts), [henstridgebabe](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=henstridgebabe), [konstantine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/konstantine/gifts), [ohfiitz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohfiitz/gifts).



> This fic was inspired by one of the sneak peeks for 4722 hours, and a Twitter conversation with Shay, Eva, and Vicki, and additional comments and beta-ing from Jess. One of the recordings is Isabelle's idea, which she gave me permission to use—thanks! :) Some of the ideas had to be scrapped because they didn't work with the canon episode, sorry!
> 
> Title is from Fall Out Boy's "Homesick at Space Camp."

“Log one. One minute apart. I can see you walking away, and I already m…I’m already thinking this may have been a bad idea.”

Jemma sighs as she sits back down to wait for her own train. She’s never been so close to another person in her life, and she’s looking forward to seeing her family, but it already feels strange without Fitz by her side.

“Fitz, I think maybe next time we ought to schedule this so we can see each of our families together. If you want to, that is. Maybe you’re excited to get away from me, I don’t know.” She chuckles a little, nervously, a bit worried that may be true. After all, he did hate her until very recently.

“Oh, Fitz, my train’s here. I have to go. But I’ll talk to you as soon as I can when I get home. Maybe I’ll even just send you these.” She clicks off the Walkman and places it carefully back in her bag.

* * *

“…I’m trying to conserve space on this tape, Fitz. I’ve had to record over some things that weren’t as important, but it’s hard. I want to tell you everything. I want you to be here, experiencing it with me so I don’t have to tell you.

“This is ridiculous, isn’t it, Fitz? Being apart. How much I don’t like it. I’ve been mostly alone most of my life and it never bothered me, but I find being away from you…troublesome. I just want to be with you again. I love my family, of course, but they’re not you, it seems.

“Good night, Fitz. It’s been three days, four hours, and thirty-three minutes since I last saw you. Only four days, six hours, and forty-seven minutes until I see you again.”

_[Deleted message as follows: “I miss you.”]_

* * *

“Fitz, every morning I wake up and I go through my routine but all I want to know is how you’re doing. What you’re doing. If you’ve gotten any better at all without me there ruining you.

“Hydra’s…worse than I expected, but also better, I suppose. If I pretend I’m working like I do at S.H.I.E.L.D., I can get through the day. But it’s so hard. I hear your comments in my head whenever I try something new. But I’m getting better at lying, oh, Fitz, you’d be so proud of me! I’ve lied my way through Hydra. I lie every day. You always said you thought it was cute that I couldn’t, but I needed to learn and oh, I have. I can’t wait to test it on you. I bet you’ll see right through me, though. Everyone’s always said we’re psychically linked, after all, I’m sure this won’t be any different.

“This is the longest we’ve been apart since we met. I said years ago I didn’t like being away from you, and I still don’t. I want so badly to be with you, you have no idea.

“But I have to do this, Fitz. I couldn’t hurt you anymore. Maybe when I get back, if you don’t hate me again, we can be friends again. I’d like that.

“Good night, Fitz.”

* * *

“I don’t know why I’m doing this. We’re not apart, technically—I just saw you five minutes ago—but we’re not talking, so that’s good enough reason for this, isn’t it?

“I just…I just wish we could talk again, the way we used to. Maybe we could fix ourselves if we did. I wish it could be as easy as it always has been. Maybe leaving was a mistake, I don’t know, but I miss you so much, Fitz. I’d do anything to have you as my best friend again.

“Good night, Fitz. I think you’re more than my best friend, too. I just hope that someday I’ll be able to tell you that.”

* * *

“Oh, Fitz, I almost wish you were here with me. That would make this all bearable. As it is, if I didn’t have this to talk to you, I’d likely go insane, but it would be so nice if we were together, the way we always are.

She forces out a small laugh. “That’s probably the most selfish thing I’ve ever said. I shouldn’t wish this planet on anyone, but I do wish you could be with me. Every day I wish that.

“We could even have our date here. We’d have to eat the alien plant, but that’s alright. We’d make it work. And then we could be the first people to kiss and shag on an alien planet, wouldn’t that be nice, Fitz?”

* * *

“This is Jemma fucking Simmons, reporting live from the shittiest fucking planet in the universe. Everything is bloody awful.”

She plops down on the ground and scoops up a handful of dirt, then hurls it at the ground, creating a tiny cloud of dust. “Where the fuck are you, Fitz? I’m bloody tired of being on this shite planet.”

* * *

“Will’s very nice, Fitz. I hope you get to meet him someday—I think you’d get on. We’ll get back to you, Fitz, and then I’m sure you two will be good friends.

“Oh, I have to go. We’re going hunting for more monster plant. You’d be so proud of me.”

* * *

“My phone is dead, Fitz. I borrowed one of Will’s old tape recorders for this, because it’s too important not to tell you, even if you’ll never hear it. I need to say it.

“I fell in love with him. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.

“There’s no hope on this planet. I’ll never see you again. This is hell, and hell for me has always been being away from you. We’re the only two people on this motherfucking shithole planet, and the only two people we’ll ever see.

A tear escapes her eye. “I’m sorry, Fitz. It doesn’t change how much I love you, you have to know that.

“Goodbye, Fitz.”

* * *

“Hi, monkey!”

“Fitz, we’re not calling our child a monkey!”

“Just barely know her and you’re already putting down my name ideas.”

Jemma rolls her eyes and ignores him, speaking into the microphone. “Hi, baby. We just found out about you, and we’re very excited, but despite what your father thinks, we don’t know if you’re a girl yet and we’re not naming you Monkey.”

“When we find out she’s a beautiful, brilliant little baby girl who looks just like her mum, you’ll be eating your words.”

“And what if we have a boy? And then he listens to this?”

“Won’t happen. She’s a girl.”

“Well, that’s irrelevant right now. We’re supposed to be recording a nice message for our baby, not bickering.”

Fitz clears his throat. “I love you already, baby girl,” he says, earning himself a _“Fitz!”_ , but he continues undeterred. “And your mum does too. She’ll make sure you know that. But uh, we just—we’ll want you to know never to give up.”

“There’s always hope,” Jemma continues. “There’s always a way. We’ll teach you this from the moment you’re born, I promise.”

“We love you,” they finish together, and the recorder clicks off and their lips meet.


End file.
